Rating Free Pens From Psychedelic Science 2023
A non-definitive list.
There’s nothing I love more than free branded swag and merch, especially when that swag and merch is functional and usable. Miss me with the stress balls and pamphlets. I’m an earth sign. I don’t need that. Bring on the pens, stickers, and mints.
At Psychedelic Science 2023, I set out to acquire more pens than I got at Wonderland Miami 2022, which was good for pens, especially as a couple came in the initial conference swag bag, but I wanted more. MORE. I always need pens. We all always need pens.
Why go buy pens when I can just get pens here? And so I began the search for pens, arguably the best kind of merch out there. But not all pens are made equal, and I, the pen lover, the pen connoisseur, am here to grade and rate all the free pens I collected at Psychedelic Science 2023 and tell you which one was the best, with help from my conference media collaborator and partner, Mour. All these companies are spending money to be here, but who really invested in their swag? Who wants to be remembered? Who bought the good pens instead of just the cheapest? We’re here to find out. You know. For journalism.
The pens have been ranked out of 10, on factors of writability (i.e. smoothness of ink flow), aesthetic, and grip/comfort. A ranking of 5 means that the pen was simply mid and functioning as a pen — nothing more, nothing less. Please note that these are not ALL the pens that were freely given out at Psychedelic Science 2023 — just the ones I was able to get my paws on.
Let’s get started.
Ancient Awakenings
Sofie - 5
Mour - 5
Lightlab by Orange Photonics
Sofie - 7/10
Mour - 5/10
Theracover
Sofie - 5/10
Mour - 6.5/10
Within
Sofie - 4/10
Mour - 4/10
FlowLifeRetreat.com
Sofie - 6.5
Mour - 4
Vitellaria
Sofie - 4
Mour - 5
Klarity Billing Co
Sofie - 6
Mour - 7
Temenos Ketamine Psychotherapy
Sofie - 7.5
Mour - 7
Integrata
Sofie - 8.5
Mour - 8
Lucid News
Sofie - 2
Mour - 2
CFOShare.org
Sofie - 8.5
Mour - 8
Rocky Mountain
Sofie - 6
Mour - 6
Pearson
Sofie - 9
Mour - 9
*Bonus points for functionality, pictured below*
Erowid
Sofie - 8.5
Mour - 9
*Note that this was the only pen with colourful ink*
Vicente
Sofie - 7
Mour - 6
Psychedelic Medicine Advocacy
Sofie - 7.5
Mour - 6
Frankfurt Kurnit
Sofie - 9
Mour - 9.5
International Association of Psychedelic Nurses
Sofie - 5
Mour - 5
Beyond Marketing
Sofie - 6
Mour - 6
Cacti
Sofie - 10
Mour - 10
*A clear winner. Pictured below*
Emerge Law Group
Sofie - 6.5
Mour - 7
Rodman Law Group
Sofie - 6.5
Mour - 6.5
Polaris Insight Center
Sofie - 8
Mour - 5
Sofie Mikhaylova is a psychedelics, pop culture, and travel writer, among other things. She has a long background in the music industry, and is overall a bit of a multi-hyphenate. Her work has spanned numerous mediums and industries, from mushrooms to experimental electronic music. Her writing has appeared in Vice, leafie, Psychedelic Spotlight, The Washington Post, Fodor's Travel, Double Dot Magazine, and more. Her debut poetry collection, I love you so much, I miss you so much, was published by Bottlecap Press in 2022.